31 “I made a covenant with my eyes
    not to look lustfully at a young woman.
² For what is our lot from God above,
    our heritage from the Almighty on high?
³ Is it not ruin for the wicked,
    disaster for those who do wrong?
⁴ Does he not see my ways
    and count my every step?

⁵ “If I have walked with falsehood
    or my foot has hurried after deceit—
⁶ let God weigh me in honest scales
    and he will know that I am blameless—
⁷ if my steps have turned from the path,
    if my heart has been led by my eyes,
    or if my hands have been defiled,
⁸ then may others eat what I have sown,
    and may my crops be uprooted.

 We sow but God gives, We may sow the seed but what causes it to grow is not us but God. Same thing for everything else. If we dont understand that, we will always be functioning on the "i can take on the world" thinking. Thinking that with unlimited hard work, we can get everything. But that is not true! God takes and God gives. In this passage, we see that everything we get and own is at God's expense, He can take away as He pleases. He gives as He pleases. Have you experienced working very hard but not receiving? Thats okay, as long as you have tried your best. God has a plan for you. Just take Job as a good example. He worked so hard but yet God took away everything. But is God evil? Would He withhold His blessings? This is a test. Trust God and walk out of the test victorious.

Job recollects

⁹ “And now those young men mock me in song;
    I have become a byword among them.
¹⁰ They detest me and keep their distance;
    they do not hesitate to spit in my face.
¹¹ Now that God has unstrung my bow and afflicted me,
    they throw off restraint in my presence.
¹² On my right the tribe^[c] attacks;
    they lay snares for my feet,
    they build their siege ramps against me.
¹³ They break up my road;
    they succeed in destroying me.
    ‘No one can help him,’ they say.
¹⁴ They advance as through a gaping breach;
    amid the ruins they come rolling in.
¹⁵ Terrors overwhelm me;
    my dignity is driven away as by the wind,
    my safety vanishes like a cloud.

Job's enemies overcome him. He was in a test. God driven test. As much as he have done nothing wrong to do this, in retrospect, we know that God was using Job to come out with yet another awesome testimony! God can be testing us. In a test, God's presence will be with us but will we prevail? Will we prevail with our strength or with strength from God? In many times we would just rely on our own strength and just go. But in these situations, God is a very important character in our lives. Without his presence, without his promises what can we do? What can we hang on to? Job may not have God's presence but he held on to God's promises. He held on to God's promises when his life hangs ion balance. when you are in tough times would you hang on yourself or hang onto his promises?

Job thinks about his past

29 Job continued his discourse:

² “How I long for the months gone by,
    for the days when God watched over me,
³ when his lamp shone on my head
    and by his light I walked through darkness!
⁴ Oh, for the days when I was in my prime,
    when God’s intimate friendship blessed my house,
⁵ when the Almighty was still with me
    and my children were around me,
⁶ when my path was drenched with cream
    and the rock poured out for me streams of olive oil.

⁷ “When I went to the gate of the city
    and took my seat in the public square,
⁸ the young men saw me and stepped aside
    and the old men rose to their feet;
⁹ the chief men refrained from speaking
    and covered their mouths with their hands;
¹⁰ the voices of the nobles were hushed,
    and their tongues stuck to the roof of their mouths.
¹¹ Whoever heard me spoke well of me,
    and those who saw me commended me,
¹² because I rescued the poor who cried for help,
    and the fatherless who had none to assist them.
¹³ The one who was dying blessed me;
    I made the widow’s heart sing.
¹⁴ I put on righteousness as my clothing;
    justice was my robe and my turban.
¹⁵ I was eyes to the blind
    and feet to the lame.
¹⁶ I was a father to the needy;
    I took up the case of the stranger.
¹⁷ I broke the fangs of the wicked
    and snatched the victims from their teeth.

¹⁸ “I thought, ‘I will die in my own house,
    my days as numerous as the grains of sand.
¹⁹ My roots will reach to the water,
    and the dew will lie all night on my branches.
²⁰ My glory will not fade;
    the bow will be ever new in my hand.’

²¹ “People listened to me expectantly,
    waiting in silence for my counsel.
²² After I had spoken, they spoke no more;
    my words fell gently on their ears.
²³ They waited for me as for showers
    and drank in my words as the spring rain.
²⁴ When I smiled at them, they scarcely believed it;
    the light of my face was precious to them.^[a]
25 I chose the way for them and sat as their chief;
    I dwelt as a king among his troops;
    I was like one who comforts mourners.

Job thinks about his past. He thinks about the times that he is blessed by God with material. He thinks about the times that he helps people and people gave him respect. People admire Him. He do good deeds and a lot of them. He talked about them here in extent. people are willing to listen to him. He had high social status. 
Well, we know that good deeds cannot save us, but only through our relationship with Jesus Christ right?? But he walked with God. He had a relationship with  Him. Spoke and prayed to Him. Then yet, he suffered.
Here we really learnt something. Our actions do not determine our circumstance. God determines our circumstance. God decides what to give and what to take. You may not understand what God is putting you through now, but one day you will. God is sovereign and he do whats best for you. In tough situations you got to just trust that.

A search for wisdom

28 There is a mine for silver
    and a place where gold is refined.
² Iron is taken from the earth,
    and copper is smelted from ore.
³ Mortals put an end to the darkness;
    they search out the farthest recesses
    for ore in the blackest darkness.
⁴ Far from human dwellings they cut a shaft,
    in places untouched by human feet;
    far from other people they dangle and sway.
⁵ The earth, from which food comes,
    is transformed below as by fire;
⁶ lapis lazuli comes from its rocks,
    and its dust contains nuggets of gold.
⁷ No bird of prey knows that hidden path,
    no falcon’s eye has seen it.
⁸ Proud beasts do not set foot on it,
    and no lion prowls there.
⁹ People assault the flinty rock with their hands
    and lay bare the roots of the mountains.
¹⁰ They tunnel through the rock;
    their eyes see all its treasures.
¹¹ They search^[a] the sources of the rivers
    and bring hidden things to light.

This passage is so true. We as a humanity search for wisdom, and we have been searching from the ancient times. like this passage states. Searching through wilderness... Today we think we have wisdom. But all we have is knowledge. We build large computer networks to store and parse data and index data. When ever we have some information needs we  just Google it. But how much is the information wisdom? Hardly. Wisdom is beyond information, beyond understanding.

²⁰ Where then does wisdom come from?
    Where does understanding dwell?
²¹ It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing,
    concealed even from the birds in the sky.
²² Destruction^[b] and Death say,
    “Only a rumor of it has reached our ears.”
²³ God understands the way to it
    and he alone knows where it dwells,
²⁴ for he views the ends of the earth
    and sees everything under the heavens.
²⁵ When he established the force of the wind
    and measured out the waters,
²⁶ when he made a decree for the rain
    and a path for the thunderstorm,
²⁷ then he looked at wisdom and appraised it;
    he confirmed it and tested it.
²⁸ And he said to the human race,
    “The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom,
    and to shun evil is understanding.”

Wisdom is the fear of the Lord. Stop seeking wisdom from human sources. seek from God.

Paul's mission Trip

⁶ And you also are among those Gentiles who are called to belong to Jesus Christ.

⁷ To all in Rome who are loved by God and called to be his holy people:

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ.

Paul’s Longing to Visit Rome

⁸ First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is being reported all over the world. ⁹ God, whom I serve in my spirit in preaching the gospel of his Son, is my witness how constantly I remember you ¹⁰ in my prayers at all times; and I pray that now at last by God’s will the way may be opened for me to come to you.
¹¹ I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— ¹² that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith. ¹³ I do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters,^[d] that I planned many times to come to you (but have been prevented from doing so until now) in order that I might have a harvest among you, just as I have had among the other Gentiles.

Paul learnt tremendously, he switched from killing Christians to building a relationship with them! How different he became! He now believes that God is the Father and Jesus is the Son. And he is blessing others, Christians and Jews alike.  We see that Rome is just like the mission trips that we will be going. Going to another land to do God's work. The desire for Paul was great, his desire to come to fulfill the spiritual needs of the people in Rome. Then you ask, why does he have great desire? It is because he has the heart for people, the heartbeat of God. He spoke even more, he spoke about a harvest among the people in Rome. The harvest refers to a spiritual breakthrough.Besides the desire for people's heart, his home country was Rome and that was drawing him to come back. Something that is close to his heart. Moreover, he was leveraging on the fact that he was both a Jew and a Roman citizen to share the word. God may have bestowed upon us these privilege and it is our calling to use those talents to do God's work.

Because my Faith is in him.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34

This was really really timely for me. Recently I've been holding a few leadership positions in school for projects and I was really afraid I wouldn't be able to perform because it has been quite some time since I led people. Deadlines have to be met and everyone has their own stuff to do. Meeting up is hard.

Just like tomorrow. It's going to be a long day. Morning would be driving followed by rushing down to school for an eye check up. Afterwhich, would be a project meeting then training in the evening.

I was really worried that I would have to rush for everything and even my studies. Because I don't even have time for myself on weekends. This verse really reminded me who to trust and run to for help !

Romans 1

¹ PAUL ^[a]a ^[b][c]servant of JESUS Christ called to be an ^[d]Apostle, ^[e]put apart to preach the Gospel of God,

Paul, not SAUL a servant of Jesus. Saul called himself Paul instead of Paul because Saul was a name of a king and Paul was a name of nobody. He chose to use Paul, not Saul. He introduced himself as Paul! Servant of Jesus, calling them servants was a very huge step to humble themselves. He then calls himself Apostle. To preach the Gospel of God. 

² (Which he had promised afore by his Prophets in the holy Scriptures)

^3 [f]Concerning his ^[g]Son Jesus Christ our Lord (which was ^[h]made of the seed of David ^[i]according to the flesh,

⁴ And ^[j]declared ^[k]mightily to be the Son of God, touching the Spirit of sanctification by the resurrection from the dead)

^5 [l]By whom we have received ^[m]grace and Apostleship (that ^[n]obedience might be given unto the faith) for his name ^[o]among all the Gentiles,

Jesus was made of the linage of David, just as prophets prophesied before. We received grace and Apostleship for God's name. That which was reserved for Israel, became a gift for all of us, which is totally amazing. How can that be? How do we deserve that? We dont deserve them. But God gracefully gave them to us.

Do good because it is good!

¹³ Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? ¹⁴ But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats^[b]; do not be frightened.”^{[c] 15} But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, ¹⁶ keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. ¹⁷ For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. ¹⁸ For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit. ¹⁹ After being made alive,^[d] he went and made proclamation to the imprisoned spirits— ²⁰ to those who were disobedient long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water, ²¹ and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a clear conscience toward God.^[e] It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, ²² who has gone into heaven and is at God’s right hand—with angels, authorities and powers in submission to him.

There is power in doing good. God said, keep a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ  may be ashamed of their slander. I am in awe of this sentence: For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. Christ died so that I the unrighteous can be saved can meet God one day and have a relationship with Him. Christ's job and calling was just to do that. I know that but when I read that verse i get a peek at God's love. Its the same thing as a person who wanted another person to live on and took on the death sentence himself, so that the unrighteous can live on. God is God. If a human want through the test, he would have failed terribly, because he would be concentrating on himself and himself only. Because God gave all of us the grace, that is why we can receive this amazing grace of salvation.

Trust. Please Our God.

John 14:1  “Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God, trust also in me.”

This verse has been here for so long, used so many times but yet so applicable. Trust in the Lord, do not be troubled. There is nothing more blatant than this. Trust in the Lord. Just trust in the Lord! What does it take to trust the Lord? Trust the Lord.

John 14:27  “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Lord, your peace is always in trend. I want to receive your peace! Your peace is good for me! The peace that the world gives are not appealing. The peace that the world give us is temporary. It only lasts for a while. It does not satisfy us, but your presence satisfy. Your presence settles. Your presence gives life. Your presence is so satisfying and calms. Your presence commands us. Lord i want to receive more of your love!

Isaiah 40: 30,31  “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Strength comes to those who find hope in the Lord. Strength comes first when we start to do God's will. Do we want to do God's will? Do we want to do God's will? Do we look to Him? Do we pick up the calls from the Lord? Or do we run away and answer our own calls? when we answer our own calls, then what happens? We just walk towards the Lord and sustain us on His strength.

Disasters, why?

Matthew 24:7
7 Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places.

In Matthew 24:7 it was said in the end times, famines and earthquakes will happen in various places.

Luke 21:25
25 “There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. 26 People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken. 27 At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. 28 When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.”

All these verses here suggest that when we see these signs we are nearing the end. It is only in these storms and trails that lead people out of their complacency and seek the Lord. So when disaster strikes, it is not that God commanded the natural disaster but he allowed that to happen. So that His glory can be testified and people can be brought to know Him.

Job understands

Job understood the heart of the father. He knew in this suffering, Lord is LORD over hid life. And He has a plan and a future for Him. He knows this but he did not act like he has, he complains. No, he did not blame or curse God, he cried out so deeply. He did not blame God and question His will but he just want to be rid of the suffering. The amount of suffering is too much for him. His conversations with his friends and him crying out to God took up 20+ chapters.

In the end, he was abandoned by his friends:

27 And Job continued his discourse:

² “As surely as God lives, who has denied me justice,
    the Almighty, who has made my life bitter,
³ as long as I have life within me,
    the breath of God in my nostrils,
⁴ my lips will not say anything wicked,
    and my tongue will not utter lies.
⁵ I will never admit you are in the right;
    till I die, I will not deny my integrity.
⁶ I will maintain my innocence and never let go of it;
    my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live.

⁷ “May my enemy be like the wicked,
    my adversary like the unjust!
⁸ For what hope have the godless when they are cut off,
    when God takes away their life?
⁹ Does God listen to their cry
    when distress comes upon them?
¹⁰ Will they find delight in the Almighty?
    Will they call on God at all times?

¹¹ “I will teach you about the power of God;
    the ways of the Almighty I will not conceal.
¹² You have all seen this yourselves.
    Why then this meaningless talk?

¹³ “Here is the fate God allots to the wicked,
    the heritage a ruthless man receives from the Almighty:
¹⁴ However many his children, their fate is the sword;
    his offspring will never have enough to eat.
¹⁵ The plague will bury those who survive him,
    and their widows will not weep for them.
¹⁶ Though he heaps up silver like dust
    and clothes like piles of clay,
¹⁷ what he lays up the righteous will wear,
    and the innocent will divide his silver.
¹⁸ The house he builds is like a moth’s cocoon,
    like a hut made by a watchman.
¹⁹ He lies down wealthy, but will do so no more;
    when he opens his eyes, all is gone.
²⁰ Terrors overtake him like a flood;
    a tempest snatches him away in the night.
²¹ The east wind carries him off, and he is gone;
    it sweeps him out of his place.
²² It hurls itself against him without mercy
    as he flees headlong from its power.
²³ It claps its hands in derision
    and hisses him out of his place.”

He still continues to claim his righteousness through his friends does not agree fully with that. Righteousness is not measured in Job's eyes, not his friends eyes, but God's eyes. Ultimately whatever we do is onto God. Everything. People can say things about you or about something that you did right or wrong, But ultimately, it is God's view that is important. Ask and seek the holy spirit, just like Job did. Job knew because holy spirit told him, he knew where was God's right and wrong. Most importantly Job knew God's heart.

¹⁴ “How then can I dispute with him?
    How can I find words to argue with him?
¹⁵ Though I were innocent, I could not answer him;
    I could only plead with my Judge for mercy.
¹⁶ Even if I summoned him and he responded,
    I do not believe he would give me a hearing.
¹⁷ He would crush me with a storm
    and multiply my wounds for no reason.
¹⁸ He would not let me catch my breath
    but would overwhelm me with misery.
¹⁹ If it is a matter of strength, he is mighty!
    And if it is a matter of justice, who can challenge him^[b]?
²⁰ Even if I were innocent, my mouth would condemn me;
    if I were blameless, it would pronounce me guilty.

Here, i see utmost respect for God. Job really treats God with  the respect and reverence that He deserves! God is the Most high, He is all powerful and He has the final say. Humans cannot out do God no matter what! Who are we to fight against God? Who are we to oppose Him? What good does it do to oppose Him? None. Nothing. We will not gain anything but lose everything. When we do reason with God, we will lose, we cannot win. He is God, what do we expect to gain?

²¹ “Although I am blameless,
    I have no concern for myself;
    I despise my own life.
²² It is all the same; that is why I say,
    ‘He destroys both the blameless and the wicked.’
²³ When a scourge brings sudden death,
    he mocks the despair of the innocent.
²⁴ When a land falls into the hands of the wicked,
    he blindfolds its judges.
    If it is not he, then who is it?

I think this is the part where Job kind of blames God. I think he truly meant that in good in bad, His will is done. Meaning that He is in control. Dont have to worry about you losing your way, but have faith that God is watching over you!

I find this very interesting, as it really shows one thing: Job in his misery is blinded by his circumstance of seeing God's glory. Yes, he did not sin and all, but did he do to his best? We do not know, but he certainly did better than most. 

Look at the word blustering, it means talk in a loud, aggressive, or indignant way with little effect. Job talked like this and He is considered to be
blustering. I honestly thought that whatever he said was very mild. Indeed we do not treat God with as much respect as the people in the past to. From here, i learn one thing- that we must treat God with utmost respect, even if it is just talking to Him or about Him.

This friend encourages him that God will restore glory to Job. More than that, people then value wisdom, seen from the discussion of former generation. Today's generation have no wisdom, all we have is knowledge. What good does it do? It drives us away from God. people then seek earnestly for the truth, for the wisdom in God.

8 Then Bildad the Shuhite replied:

² “How long will you say such things?
    Your words are a blustering wind.
³ Does God pervert justice?
    Does the Almighty pervert what is right?
⁴ When your children sinned against him,
    he gave them over to the penalty of their sin.
⁵ But if you will seek God earnestly
    and plead with the Almighty,
⁶ if you are pure and upright,
    even now he will rouse himself on your behalf
    and restore you to your prosperous state.
⁷ Your beginnings will seem humble,
    so prosperous will your future be.

⁸ “Ask the former generation
    and find out what their ancestors learned,
⁹ for we were born only yesterday and know nothing,
    and our days on earth are but a shadow.
¹⁰ Will they not instruct you and tell you?
    Will they not bring forth words from their understanding?

Job submits to God's power

9 Then Job replied:

² “Indeed, I know that this is true.
    But how can mere mortals prove their innocence before God?
³ Though they wished to dispute with him,
    they could not answer him one time out of a thousand.
⁴ His wisdom is profound, his power is vast.
    Who has resisted him and come out unscathed?
⁵ He moves mountains without their knowing it
    and overturns them in his anger.
⁶ He shakes the earth from its place
    and makes its pillars tremble.
⁷ He speaks to the sun and it does not shine;
    he seals off the light of the stars.
⁸ He alone stretches out the heavens
    and treads on the waves of the sea.
⁹ He is the Maker of the Bear^[a] and Orion,
    the Pleiades and the constellations of the south.
¹⁰ He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed,
    miracles that cannot be counted.
¹¹ When he passes me, I cannot see him;
    when he goes by, I cannot perceive him.
¹² If he snatches away, who can stop him?
    Who can say to him, ‘What are you doing?’
¹³ God does not restrain his anger;
    even the cohorts of Rahab cowered at his feet.

Job just described who God is and he described God's nature. God is almighty. His will be done before anyone else's. No one or thing or spirit can stop God from doing His work. He holds immense power. He is the creator of heaven and earth. He reigns forever and ever. No human can face him face to face and resist Him. Job knew God. God knew Job. I pray that I will come to know God on the same level as Job did. I note that Job wrote as if God is very violent, in his descriptions, God overturns mountains and shakes the earth. The point here is not God is violent, but what is God capable of. How powerful is He? He can do all these things, He can choose to do it or not. 

 He continues this writing below:

²¹ “Although I am blameless,
    I have no concern for myself;
    I despise my own life.
²² It is all the same; that is why I say,
    ‘He destroys both the blameless and the wicked.’
²³ When a scourge brings sudden death,
    he mocks the despair of the innocent.
²⁴ When a land falls into the hands of the wicked,
    he blindfolds its judges.
    If it is not he, then who is it?

God is not wicked but He can take and give. He is the DEFINITION of righteous. If He says A, no one will be right by saying B.